pole dancing: for those special occasions

It’s not that kind of thing, the kind of dancing you’re imagining right now.  But afore I splain what I really came here for, I have to digress to muse about the thing we’re both thinking about even though that’s not it.

Here in the grand ole US of A, a new physical fitness phenomenon seems to have taken hold in our ranks:  pole dancing!  Women apparently get together for professional coaching and even sometimes have private pole dancing parties, a new kind of night out for the girls.

Pole dancing has been considered exotic dancing.   Now, don’t go writing to me–I’m not denigrating exotic dancing.  Dancing in any form is incredibly athletic.

I’ve seen the movies.   Never in those movies did I see in evidence a women’s giggly party.  I saw drooly-chinned, glassy-eyed, staring men holding wads of cash to share with said dancers.   Smokin’ and drinkin’ hard likker plus sometimes women standing on tables.  The atmosphere was decidedly not the neighborhood yoga place.

(I got in trouble for that very thing in first grade–standing on a desk, well actually, it was desks, plural, and I walked on them–off I was sent to the principal’s office.  They thought they could stamp out Lil Miss Ooo, I Wanna Try That by scaring me with the Big Guy when I was 7.  I was scareder of the classroom coat closet where all the wet wintry clothes steamed in the clanking radiator heat.  Yoo-hoo, Fairmount Elementary School in West Orange, NJ!   It didn’t work!)

(We now return from the Eddie Izzard aside.)

Just wondering which highly-paid consultant was sittin’ in his cube thinkin’, and suddenly snapped his fingers and shouted, “That’s it!  I’ll make millions!”

How did pole dancing go from the smoke-filled perceived dens of iniquity where 99 percent of the women in evidence were on a stage, writhing around a firehouse pole, wearing their scanties?

I’m trying to imagine me calling up, say, my sister-in-law and telling her I was having a pole dancing party and that she was invited.  What’s that she said?  Oh, no special clothes required.

Every time I’m amongst some quiet little neighborhood  shops and I see a sign advertising pole dancing, I start, do a double-take, and then the damn wondering pops up again.  It really feels like the Emperor’s New Clothes to me–has anyone actually asked a question about the interesting background of this new pasttime?  My local YMCA doesn’t seem to offer pole dancing classes (thank you!), but they probably wouldn’t, would they?

Whew.  I’ve been needing to get that out of my brain for a long time!

The reason we’re here tonight boys and girls is thus:  my own very recent pole dancing experience was with the IV pole attached to me by clear, flexible tubing for four days and three nights (don’t buy that vacation from the travel agent!).

I landed in hospital two weeks ago, with IVs hanging out of both arms.   I promise to spare the icky-poo details, but the diagnoses (yes, plural) were sepsis and C-Diff.  Each is life-threatening and requires death-defying intervention, which I did, defy death.  Big ole raspberry!  Thhhbbbbbtttt!  The C-Diff was brought on by those handy-dandy antibiotics I’d begged for just a week before so I could be infection-free for my trip to Italy.

I was sposta fly to Italy on the 22nd, but I was busy lying around being all weak ‘n’ stuff.

Will be rescheduling Italy as soon as my brain returns strongly to the building.  I keep wondering about that, too:  why does my brain-power drop when my blood pressure drops?  Oh.  The blood-juices can’t get up that high.

To be continued…

© No Stealing!  That’s what the little c in the circle means!
© lahgitana and Rockin’ the Purple, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to lahgitana and Rockin’ the Purple with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. minlit
    Feb 29, 2012 @ 08:37:04

    See, IV pole dancing. Nursing homes are ALWAYS lookin for new activities for their residents. Call the patent office quick. You could call it Ol’ Pole dancing.


  2. IsobelandCat
    Feb 29, 2012 @ 08:44:38

    Oh Laren, I had assumed you were my side of the pond and too busy to blog. You poor thing. I am glad you have been taken care of and now on the mend. Maybe a spot of pole dancing would help build up your strength?


    • lahgitana
      Feb 29, 2012 @ 08:49:35

      Hiya Isobel! If you could have seen me dancing with my IV pole, you would suggest I try Pilates instead! It was truly amazing how hard it was to navigate the tubing, that 5-legged wheeled thingie, and the call button that got tangled every time I got up–every hour or so. sigh…

      I am on the mend. Thank you for being here–Laurel.


  3. Kathryn McCullough
    Feb 29, 2012 @ 09:53:28

    Love your medically required variation on the theme! Ha, ha!
    Hope you are able to leave soon!


  4. lahgitana
    Feb 29, 2012 @ 10:09:23

    The steps are complicated, but at least the feet mostly stay on the ground. >:-D

    Thanks, Kathy!


  5. heretherebespiders
    Feb 29, 2012 @ 11:37:36

    Glad to have you back! And not on your back, either in the icky bed or from getting tangled in IV lines and falling on yer arse. Only you could make that sound like fun! I did detect an error, however – unless hospitals have changed a lot since last I was in one I think special clothing was required! How sexah are those gowns, eh?


  6. lahgitana
    Feb 29, 2012 @ 11:42:19

    Turrble sexah! And they’ve gotten to be cheap-skates: there’s only one tie at neck level, so no chance to cover real estate.

    When the Big Mister visited one afternoon, he wanted me to go for a walk–with the IV pole and all its feet–I told him I would go, but I would need a rump cover! I think that’s how he phrased it at the nurse’s station!

    Nice to be back–on so many levels!


  7. sweetdaysundertheoaks
    Mar 01, 2012 @ 03:27:14

    Goodness I thought you were in Italy having a lovely time! So sorry! Hospitals are no fun. I am glad you are better and happy that you plan to reschedule your trip.


  8. IsobelandCat
    Mar 04, 2012 @ 11:08:20

    This might be less complicated: http://wp.me/pMKim-1aO
    I’ve tagged you.


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